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Stage 4 – Identity Acceptance: You have resolved most of the questions concerning your sexual identity and have accepted yourself as homosexual.In this stage, you often begin to make contact with members of the LGB community.
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Although confusion and distress concerning your sexual orientation decreases, you may feel increased isolation and alienation as your self-concept becomes increasingly different from society’s expectation of you. Stage 3 – Identity Tolerance: Your acceptance of your homosexuality increases, and you begin to tolerate this identity.Stage 2 – Identity Comparison: You accept the possibility that you may be gay and face the social isolation that can occur with this new identity.Along with other thoughts and feelings, you may experience denial and confusion. Stage 1 – Identity Confusion: You begin to wonder whether you may be homosexual.
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Know that what you are experiencing is completely normal and that many, many others have had similar experiences. You may find yourself in one of these stages. This model includes lesbian, gay and bisexual identities. The Cass Theory, developed by Vivian Cass (1979) is a six stage model that describes the developmental process individuals go through as they consider and then acquire a homosexual identity. For example, some people are out to their families but in the closet at work some people are out at school but in the closet with their families. You may decide to come out in one part of your life and not in another. Once you accept that you’re lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer, you can decide to be out to others or to stay “in the closet.” You are the only person who can decide when and how it is safe to come out. Coming out is a continuing, sometimes lifelong, process. Some people are aware of their sexual identity at an early age, and others arrive at this awareness after many years. It happens in different ways and occurs at different ages for different people. Individuals do not move through the coming out process at the same speed. Even if it’s scary to think about coming out to others, sometimes the reward can be worth the challenge that coming out entails. You may find a whole community of people like you and feel supported and inspired. You may feel like you can finally be authentic and true to who you are. You may feel ashamed, isolated, and afraid.Īlthough coming out can be difficult, it can also be a very liberating and freeing process. Coming out involves facing societal responses and attitudes toward LGBTQ people. For gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons, there may be a sense of being different or of not fitting in to the roles expected of you by your family, friends, workplace or greater society. Our society strongly enforces codes of behavior regarding sexual orientation and gender identity, and most people receive the message that they must be heterosexual and act according to society’s definition of their gender. The first step usually involves coming out to yourself, often with a realization that feelings you’ve had for some time make sense if you can define them as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or queer.Ĭoming out can be a very difficult process. Coming out can be a gradual process or one that is very sudden. It involves both exploring your identity and sharing your identity with others. Coming out is a process of understanding, accepting, and valuing your sexual orientation/identity.